


The Tears That Dry Scorched Earth

by Lanfear



Series: MEKinkMeme Prompts [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Breaking a Character, Death, Despair, Destruction, Do not read if squeamish, Emotional Instability, Everybody dies horribly, F/M, Gen, I don't know why I wanted to do this, Kink Meme, M/M, Other, hopelessness, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2013-09-18
Packaged: 2017-12-26 23:38:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanfear/pseuds/Lanfear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompted by this MEKinkMeme:</p><p>I've been tinkering with this idea for a while, but have had no luck in getting the writing to flow the way it needs to. Thus, I turn to you, dear kinkmeme, and your stable of wonderful writers.</p><p>In London, Shepard and company are cut off from the rest of the Alliance. They're trapped by Reaper forces, with no means of escape. The whole squad, mind you, Anderson included. Hell, hand-wave anything you need to if you want to have Kaidan and Ashley present, or Mordin, or Legion, or Thane, or all of the above. The thing of it is, even with all of them brought together... it's not enough. The Reapers just flat-out have more troops than they have ammo.</p><p>Show me what their last stand looks like. Make me weep for each of them as they fall. Bring the Normandy down in a gout of fire and glory. Draw it out, make it bitter, poignant. Beautiful and terrible.</p><p>Lanfear: So I did it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tears That Dry Scorched Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Now, I don't really know what possessed me to try something like this. It seriously isn't my thing, but perhaps, that was what pushed me to try, moving out of the comfort zone.
> 
> Personally, I love fluff. And happy endings, no matter how unrealistic. I feel that the world has enough pain and hurt in it that it doesn't need more. So I'm a careful optimist whenever it comes to anything in my life. However, while browsing through the MEKinkMeme forums for the first time in my life, I saw this interesting tidbit that wasn't focused on anything sexual. It was gritty, and real and had the potential to just wipe the mind clear with its devastating mind screw. Since I'd never done something so dark, I thought I'd give it a try. I might have missed here and there, but it was... interesting.
> 
> LAST WARNING! IF YOU WANT YOUR HAPPY ENDING, YOU WON'T FIND IT HERE. THIS IS FOR SOME SERIOUS HEARTACHE, PAIN AND EVERYBODY LITERALLY DIES. THERE'S NO PLOT AND THE ONLY THING YOU WILL FEEL IS YOUR HEART PULL OUT OF YOUR CHEST. NOW'S YOUR LAST CHANCE TO BACK AWAY! CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!
> 
> Explicit for the depictions of Graphic Violence. I do not think that what I wrote might be covered for Mature Ratings, so I'll err on the side of caution and put it as Explicit unless someone would be willing to enlighten me.

Cannon fire and artillery barrage singed the air with flack, like whipping strobes of light, they chased each other through the darkness and scoured the air as they flew toward targets in the darkness.

London. Scorched Earth.

Buildings shattered in a cascading tumble of debris that provided shelter for the living and cairns for the dead. Mountains of corpses, friend and foe alike, littered the streets and filled the corners, looking like the random erosions of a storm-swept river as it pulled and surged through humanity's greatest cities. Another building began to buckle under insane pressure and insatiable destruction that surged up around it and with a defeated groan, it fell, crushing a Mako and the fresh troops within, forever ending their honour and courage. Like a broken piece of pottery, the building continued its achingly slow descent, splaying out in shredding debris and shrapnel that pinned down the beleaguered heroes of Earth and the tired fallen alike.

John Shepard roared as another Mako was crushed under an avalanche of stone and sharp metal, another round of bodies to cake the road and another batch of troops lost to the hungry grind of the Reaper's War.

"Dammit," Garrus shouted out over the sounds of gunfire and screeches, "What's that, the fourth one?"

"Sixth actually," Shepard corrected as he took up position over a newly toppled stone cover that had seemed to fall perfectly for him, providing a view-arc of the fore guard so that he could snipe off prominent targets. His Black Widow felt hot and heavy in his hands as he clambered tiredly toward the makeshift barrier.

"Dammit," Garrus whispered as he sped another round through the night sky, taking out a duo of Husks that were attempting to sneak quietly past their defences.

Shepard quickly popped back up, swept the battlefield with his scope and ducked back under cover before any more hostiles could draw a bead on him.

Things had been going so well.

They had just finished the briefing at the Forward Command Post, Anderson detailing their slapdash plan to clear the way to the Conduit that would end the war. Nodding with their assignments, and with Shepard last motivational harangue fresh in their minds, they had moved off to ready themselves for their assignments and positions. He had taken Garrus and Kaidan along, his friend and his lover, and though instinct screamed at him and told him he was condemning them to death, they were adamant, Garrus claiming he would just trail behind Shepard even if he gave a direct order and Kaidan had looked stone faced, absolutely brutal, and let the silence stretch to insane levels before Shepard had cleared his throat and nodded his assent.

The rest of his team, his friends and the closest thing he would ever consider a family, had been spreading out in arcs as his aptly named 'Shadow Team' fought their way, inching closer and closer to the target that were the Thannix Missiles, the only thing that could conceivably damage the Reaper Destroyer that barred their path to their final goal. With their usual brutal efficiency and teamwork, they had flown through the shattered streets of London like ghosts, sticking to cover, watching each other's backs and sniping, shooting and killing anything that dared to cross their path. It was a glorious feeling, one of omnipotence and power and Shepard had felt a brief grin of triumph spread across his face as he scaled the last of the heavy rubble fall and spied the gleaming missiles, already prepped and ready.

That was the last smile that he had given since, and everything had seemed to go as quickly downhill as their descent into that cross-shaped bowl of death.

Before they had made it half-way, an enormous red beam sliced through the air and smashed into the Thannix cannonade, absolutely obliterating the missiles that had been their only hope at destroying the Reaper that had been blocking their path. It was a good thing that Major Coats had had the foresight to supply another crate of Thannix missiles and it was with greater regret when Shepard watched it burn down to cinders as the Reaper Destroyer relentless crushed every available options, every shred of hope, that they had mustered.

"This is Commander Shepard to Normandy, come in Normandy," Shepard called through his communicator. This was their only hope. "Come in Normandy."

"Normandy here," came Joker's slightly snarky reply, "Need a pick up Commander? I didn't expect you to win the war _that_ quickly."

"Shut it Joker," Shepard snapped, in no mood for the pilot's humour when things were so bleak, "I need you to-"

"Shep! Watch it!" Kasumi tumbled into him and pushed him to the side as a grenade seemed to ping against the side of his stone barricade and began to beep ominously. Shepard cursed as he grabbed Kasumi's forearm and pulled her along with him as he rolled out of the way, breathing a grateful breath when mere seconds after the grenade detonated with ferocious force.

"Thanks," he muttered and that was all he could spare as the great thief turned a sharp look on him.

"Next time, keep your head up, Shep. Can't always be looking out for you." And with that, she Cloaked, vanishing into the fight and Shepard tried to track her through the smoke and haze bur failed to do so after she rounded another hunk of rock.

When word had come filtering through the channels that he had been trapped, without a way to beat back the Destroyer that was intent on crushing him or back away from an obvious kill zone, the reinforcements had been immediate and overwhelming. Jack and her biotic division ripped through the first of the Cannibals and Marauders, ecstatic in her joy as she howled pure fury and threw azure power left and right. Her students were just as magnificent, Warps and Pulls, Lashes and Throws simply turning the air into a display of scintillating lightning as they carved a path towards Shepard, Kaidan and Garrus. Tali had come next, bringing up her technical expertise along with EDI and James, guns blazing, Incinerates soaring and burning a way clear through to Shepard and his heart had swelled at the sight.

It had swelled even further as more troops arrived, in Makos, in Kodiaks, staggering in on foot. Even Anderson, not the type to sit back and let others get his hands dirty, had commandeered the first ground shuttle he could find and had left the safety of his bunker to join Shepard in the final push. To discuss another strategy. To win the war. Samara, Miranda and Jacob, the second biotic team that were acting as rear-guard support and defensive measures, had decided that their abilities would be much more useful protecting the man who could save them all if they could just tip the scales a little more. Apparently the sentiment had been contagious, all of them feeling deep down, that just a little more, just another thermal clip, might be enough to swing things in their favour and get their great Commander up and running.

Ash, Javik and Liara, another decidedly odd bunch, had been in a Mako that was tailing part of the vanguard and had been swarmed by Husks during another push towards the Conduit and they had tumbled out as the wall of flesh exhausted their shields and ammunition, shredding the offending creatures with raw bursts of power and bullets as they stumbled into the safe haven that was Shepard's growing militia. They were a sight to behold, the galaxy's finest, bravest and most powerful fighters, working in unison to support and protect, kill and maim and Shepard beamed tiredly at their resolute determination.

"Hey Commander," Joker broke through, "Sorry, you were saying? A little tight up here, flying evasive and trying to get closer to you, not really an easy thing. Thank god I'm better than that though."

"We need you to arm the Normandy's Thannix Cannons," Shepard said urgently as he scoped out the immediate area. Garrus, Kaidan and James were covering him well enough. Steve was running through behind them, dumping armloads of thermal clips at their feet. "I need you to take out that Reaper Destroyer that's right in front of me."

Ash's shout rang through the air and Shepard felt his hair stand on end. He'd never heard such a ferocious cry coming from the woman before. She'd been through so much, barely surviving Virmire and she and Kaidan had been two peas in a pod, like brother and sister, during his two years being rebuilt by Cerberus. From Kaidan's knee-jerk reaction to the sound, Shepard didn't think Kaidan had ever heard her like that as well.

"Dammit! Dammit!" Ash shouted through their communicator, "They got Zaeed! Crazy bastard, I told him he was over extended. Shit, they're swarming over him!"

"Hold Ash," Shepard called back immediately, guessing rightly that she would have tried to move in to extricate the already dead mercenary. "He's gone. We don't need another body added to the pile. Keep your net tight and keep those hostiles off."

A brief pause. A moment of loathing. "Aye aye, Skipper." The communicator cut dead.

Shepard breathed a steadying breath, not trusting himself for the moment as he tried to push his thoughts away. Zaeed. Mercenary leader and all-round bastard. Hard-headed and stubborn, and he had been like a grumpy uncle to them all, always watching out for them when it came down to it and always making do the craziest things he could fit into that skull of his. He tattooed the name onto his heart. Zaeed. That was no way to go down, and Shepard ached to wreck bloody vengeance on the monsters around him.

"Joker," Shepard snapped out again, voice cool and controlled once more, "How long?"

"Oh, hmm, let me see," came to light reply, "It's either help-my-ass-is-on-fire-because-of-a-harvester or it might be a reaper-drop-ship-sending-in-more-troops kind of long. You wanna take your pick Commander?"

Shepard gritted his teeth. "Just comm me when you can, flight lieutenant."

"Aye aye, Commander," and the communicator shut down.

Shepard picked himself up and hurried to take stock of the situation. Things had improved marginally better since they had all gathered here.

They were clustered behind the larger structures, using a sharp, steep wall as a natural line of defence, providing them open ground on three sides instead of four, and that let them concentrate themselves in a haphazard triangle. The Sentinels and bruisers, fighters and tanks all stood at the edges of combat, their armour stiff and strong as they absorbed enemy fire and soaked up damage like sponges. Shields crackled and spat as rounds impacted them, the biotics just behind and providing comfortable bubbles of protection against heavier damage and, when time permitted, devastating attacks of their own. Infiltrators and thieves, Cabalists and Techs, all were clustered safely in the centre as they sent out harrowing waves of destruction from their omni-tools, firing what meagre rounds they could while they modded thermal clips, bolstered weaknesses and took out priority targets with impunity. It was a perfect formation, and they were the only people in the galaxy that were perfectly suited to execute it.

"Hold that edge!" Shepard shouted over the streams of light and fire, bullets and hail, "Shore it up people, don't let it buckle!" Shepard unlimbered his Black Widow and proved his point as the ferocious cut through the air and smashed into the eye socket of a Banshee, causing the creature to scream in pain as it flailed and tumbled, arms swinging wildly. Attacks flew in its direction as they took advantage of his opening and struck out, raining lurid death around and upon the abomination.

"Aww shit!" James suddenly yelled out, "Fucking shit! Grunt, look out!"

Shepard spun smoothly on his heel, Black Widow already out, as he peered through his rifle's scope, one eye searching through his normal vision while the other stood ready to zoom in and take out whatever it was before it could claim another of his friends.

The Brute's claws took the round with ease as it blocked his first round, the larger claw already swinging as Grunt tried to roll to the side, his trusty shotgun blaring rounds out. Grunt roared and shouted his defiance, pumping out more and more energy from his weapon as the Brute's claw neatly sliced through Grunt's armour like cheap plastic, the skin and bone underneath no match against the Reaper-hardened metal. Grunt's torso flew through the air, landing with a sickening crunch against a leaning pillar and his lower body, just a pair of stubby legs, splattered wetly along the floor.

"No!" Shepard yelled but his words were drowned out as Wrex bellowed his rage.

"You rotten piece of pyjak crap!" Wrex howled as he ran forward, head lowered, "These are _my_ people! These are _my_ family! I will tear your head off and stuff it down your throat!"

"Wait Wrex," Shepard called out urgently, "Don't do it! Wait for us to-"

The sentence ended just as Wrex's skull connected with the Brute's, the krogan's natural head plates weathered and worn through centuries of use and were hardened beyond anything natural. The Brute's head was its only true weakness and Wrex had surprised it with his mad dash and before it had a chance to swing its claws back for an eviscerating strike, Wrex connected, spraying rotten brain tissue and desiccated skin as he roared with his charge, striking at the creature again and again as it wallowed in its death throes, using fists caked with biotic fields before pulling out his shotgun and peppering the creature in its stillness. Wrex huffed another tired shout, spent from his exertions as he turned a victorious wave back to Shepard.

The Husk tore through the tender flesh along Wrex's neck before he even had time to blink and Garrus's shot pierced the air mere seconds after it had latched on, removing its head from its shoulders as Wrex bellowed again, this time with pain in the rage, and he flung the creature off of him as he clamped a heavy hand down over his wound.

Shepard didn't think, couldn't hold back as he raced forward, his Cerberus enhanced muscles pushing him toward Wrex even faster than the krogan had been charging toward the Brute.

"Kaidan! Barrier! Garrus, keep those fucking things off of us!" Shepard called back as he crouched beside the kneeling Wrex. "Wrex. How bad?"

"Not too bad," the krogan muttered wearily, the flow of blood already slowing from the excruciating pressure, "Might need... might need some medi-gel to cover it up though. Think it went deep."

"Here," Shepard said without hesitation as he dispensed the life-giving serum, ignoring his suit's announcement that he had only six portions left. "I need you to remove your hand so that I can apply it. I'll be quick."

Wrex nodded as he quickly pulled his gauntlet away, renewing the gush of blood and Shepard expertly smothered the gel over the wound and watched as it stitched flesh and closed up the gaping hole.

"That was close," Shepard said as he pulled back, "What the hell were you thinking."

Wrex turned a bleary eye over to the mangled torso that had belonged to Grunt.

"I wasn't," Wrex admitted.

"You should have known better. I-"

"Shepard! We've got incoming!" Kaidan's hoarse shout pulled him away from Wrex as he turned at the sound.

Another wave of drop ships were homing in on them and fiery drops were already pelting the ruined ground around the edge of their waning bubble. Swarms of Cannibals and Husks, Marauders gazing maliciously as they bolstered their troops with bio-synth armour. Banshees, Adjutants, Brutes. There were so many.

"Covering fire!" Shepard yelled out, "Biotics, divert power away from your barriers! We need a wide swath of damage, kill or injure as many of them as you can! Snipers, take out the bigger threats and forward team, mop up the rest! We have to hold!"

"Can't hold here, Shepard," Wrex replied tiredly, "There're too many of them."

"We _can_ hold," Shepard replied stubbornly as he pierced the thick skull of a Marauder. "We _have_ to."

The blast took him completely by surprise, the Warp so close that he could feel the skin under his armour tear even as his armour shrieked and twisted. Wrex howled a sound of pure agony as his cells and muscles, bones and flesh tore under the assault. The biotic energy coursed through the krogan warlord as his body struggled to fight the tide, as his blood dissipated and spread through the air in a red haze. Wrex roared his anguish as the assault continued unhindered and Shepard picked himself up to dispense another medi-gel capsule when another two Warps, glittering stones flung by angry children, sailed through the air and smashed into Wrex. The combined energies were too much, even for the tough krogan and he was literally _pulled apart_ as the violent energies expended themselves, uncaringly parting muscle from bone and armour from the already ragged remains of his friend.

Wrex. Another tattoo, another bleeding cut into his chest as he stumbled back, feeling his shields stuttering as they tried to compensate from the energy backlash. Wrex.

"Commander! Coming in hot!" Joker suddenly shouted through the communicator and Shepard lurched as he fumbled the device.

"Wait Joker! We're not ready! We can't move to-"

The Normandy shot through the empty space above them, like a beaming goddess dressed in the raiment of war, and she shrieked her fury as her weapons unfurled themselves and loosed purifying fire on her foes. Joker's strafing run had bought them time, slicing through the transport ships that were offloading more and more of their enemies as she made her way, arrow straight, toward the Reaper Destroyer. It had noticed her approach, and it shone its baleful, red eye up at her as it readied its own offensive. Joker had been ready for that, knew that the only vulnerability was that opening and he took it, launching his full offensive as the power from the Normandy built up and smashed into the Reaper, making its beam go wide as the powerful energies smashed into vulnerable supports and delicate mechanisms. The Reaper shuddered as it caromed, turning wildly as red lightnings flickered around it, smoke rising up from stress cracks. Whatever it was, where ever it had come from, it was no match for the combined technological superiority that was the Normandy and it shuddered into stillness and collapsed. Joker crowed his victory.

The resulting blast caught them all by surprise, and it levelled the immediate buildings as it made the others quake and tremble with uncertainty. They were buffeted by the storm and their protective circle shook and wavered as the force of the explosion from the dead Reaper mushroomed above them and crashed into the tightly twisting hull of the Normandy.

"No," Shepard whispered as he watched the potent explosion buffet the stealth ship and destabilized its manoeuvrability. "No."

The Normandy arched through the air, silvery and gleaming and Shepard fixed his gaze on the cockpit, the brash young pilot probably trying everything that he could to push the ship past its limits in order to save it. Joker was the best pilot in the fleet, in the entire galaxy, and it should have been an easy thing for him to overcome such a miniscule impediment, were it not for the trio of Harvesters that latched onto the Normandy with sudden ferocity, like dogs heckling a bull. Red, lancing beams sheared through barriers and metal, tearing through the great goddess's innards as it struggled to stay aloft. One of the Harvesters had apparently latched onto the ship's Tantilus Core and it dug into the carcass as it shot, point blank, into the ship's interior.

There were no screams, no communications. Just another explosion as the Normandy blew apart, turning into raining shrapnel as it died and took out its attackers in the same move, but it was hardly a victory. The Normandy had been their hope, their home, and it was one-of-a-kind. The Harvesters were bio-mechanical nightmares and they existed in the thousands.

"Keelah!" Tali swore bringing Shepard away from the burning inferno above their heads. The rest of the group were picking themselves up but Tali had scooted over to EDI's prone form, limbs askew in a grotesque fashion. "EDI! No. Shepard, EDI's... she's gone. EDI's gone."

More cuts, harsh and brutal and jagged, tore through him. EDI. Joker. Doctor Chakwas. Engineer Adams. The Reapers had exacted their greatest toll so far.

"Shore... shore up," Shepard called roughly, "We need... we need to push for the Conduit. The Normandy has given us a fighting chance and cleared the way, we need to-"

A Brute crashed into the middle of them, falling from the sky like a spiky meteorite and it landed, feet first, as it crushed the Mako that they had been using as a supply base, while crushing Kasumi and Legion in the process. It roared triumphantly as it revelled in its victory.

Someone screamed and it took him a moment to realize that the sound was ripping its way through his throat. Legion. Kasumi.

" _Dios mio!_ " James swore as weapon fire surged from their tattered group, like spokes on a wheel, and pelted into the Brute, quickly bringing it down under their combined might. "Commander! We need to move, this place isn't-"

A sickeningly wet, twisting sound broke through as Shepard was pulling out another thermal clip to place into this rifle, the sound of bone snapping and muscles tearing. Shepard turned numbly and watched in horror as James stood at the edge of the tanks, standing proud and strong as a Banshee's claws lifted him up into the air through the gaping cavity in his chest. James coughed, red washing the air in a stain, as the creature lifted him higher and higher. James choked out a sob as his hands fell numb against his side and the Frag Grenade bounced at the feet of the monster.

"Down!" Shepard yelled as he dove for cover, leaping towards the Brute's carcass in their midst and the shattered mechanisms that had once been a Geth friend and the torn hood of the greatest thief in the galaxy.

The explosion engulfed the Banshee in screaming flames, flinging rock and dust to spike the survivors and James, young, proud marine, died in glory as he killed his killer. Shepard wept for him still.

A groan shot out of the ruined Mako and Shepard moved forward with trembling steps, afraid of what he would find.

"Hey Commander," came the soft, deep voice.

Shepard crumbled to the ground outside the crushed metal and stared bleakly at the sight. Steve had been in the transport pulling out more supplies when the Brute had landed on it. It hadn't completely caved in the roof, but it had been pure luck that only Steve's lower body had been crushed by the twisted frame and force of the impact. Steve coughed out more red flecks as his lungs filled with liquid and agony.

"Heard a blast," Steve said softly, "Everything alright out there? Where's James?"

Shepard felt his heart twist in his chest.

"He's... he's out there, fighting the good fight," Shepard said as he spared his dying friend the gruesome truth.

"Liar," Steve whispered.

Shepard remained silent.

"He would've been right behind you if he was still alive," Steve said, growing quieter by the second as wetness trickled down his face.

"Steve, I-" Shepard stuttered haltingly. A good pilot. A good friend. A shoulder to cry on and a trusted confidant. Lying in a pool of his own crushed organs and tepid blood.

"It's alright Commander," Steve said, crying out in pain as he tried to move his broken arm up from under the metal pressing down on him, "It's alright. I'm... I'm going soon. See him there. Will put in a good word... for... you..."

Steve's eyes glazed over as death stole through him and Shepard heaved a shaky breath as moisture gathered at the corners of his eyes. A brutal stab. Steve. James. Legion. Kasumi. The names were a mantra now, a bloody list that was dripping red as it ran along beside his chest. He felt his legs go numb as he stared down at the still form of a man who had suffered so much already, who had seen so much, and then had died, without ever having the chance to tell James how he had felt about him. It hurt like hell.

"Shepard." A strong grip pulled him out of his daze, and the sandpaper and whiskey voice shot through him like a calming breeze. "We... we gotta go, Shepard. The Conduit. We'll mourn the dead, after."

Shepard nodded as Kaidan pulled him up to his knees, though they ached with misery.

"Come on son," Anderson said as he moved up, scoping the area as he holster his Assault Rifle, "We gotta finish this. This position isn't secure. We've got to make their sacrifice count for something."

"I... Yeah. Yeah, let's go," Shepard turned, casting one more look at Steve's ruined form as he signalled for them to regroup.

The pulled back, grudgingly giving ground. They didn't have the numbers to keep up the pressure and their ammo and supplies were growing thinner while the wave of monsters grew thicker. From the stable triangle, they had surged inward, forming a rough circle around their reformed formation and were moving with slow careful steps. The air was peppered with rifle fire and screams, Snipers and Assault Rifles, Sub-Machine Guns and Pistols, fists and blades, everything that they could bring to bear, every scrap of strength and determination, concentrated and pushed out after such devastating loses. They would need every advantage they could get.

The horrors seemed limitless. Shepard's Black Widow etched a line of death as it carved through the monsters, a Husk popping like corn, a Banshee gripping its neck, a Brute falling into a messy heap. Garrus made his shots even more spectacular, taking out waves of monsters as he made one count for two, always lining up his targets before he squeezed the trigger, Overloads and Concussive Shots blooming in the smoky haze. Jack and Miranda danced at the edge of battle, lithe grace and raw power combined to form a lethal corridor as they Warped and pulsed, cast Shockwaves and Pulled the abominations into messy deaths, grinding them to nothing along their inching circle. Liara and Tali, two of the sharpest blades in the mill, worked feverishly as drones and more biotic power shot through like sparkling stars, shining a light and casting away the shadows.

Kaidan and Ash. One mind sharing two bodies, constantly rotating and covering, sending help and strength, hope and power, everywhere that they turned or looked. It was a sight to behold and Shepard felt the tattered dregs of hope rise up in him as he watched them work their fighting magic. How they had grown. He ached to see what they would make of themselves after the war ended.

A Banshee hopped into being directly in their path and Samara threw a Reave at the creature before it could travel further, but the glittering wave of energy crested the monster and dissipated harmless over its head.

"Mother," the Banshee screeched, "How cruel of you."

Samara stumbled as the rest of them stiffened with alarm. They had never heard a Banshee that could speak, let alone address them with such frightening clarity, but this one, this one voice, Shepard plucked from the skeins of memory.

"Falere," Samara whispered in dread.

The Banshee howled as it threw an enormous Warp at Samara, the Justicar desperately trying to dodge it as it tracked her, crashing into her and draining her shields completely. Samara screamed, that pure, beautiful voice, always sultry silk and calm control, sounded like razors were ripping their way through her throat.

"I'm so glad you remember," the Falere-monster screamed as it stalked Samara, taking its time to approach the fallen asari slowly.

"Kill it!" Shepard yelled without hesitation, "Kill it _now_!"

Missiles and bullets, energy and chaos, ripped through the air between them and flew towards the Banshee, but she hopped away, making most of the assault miss their mark. She hopped again, providing no openings as she drew closer and closer to Samara.

"My daughter," Shepard heard Samara whisper, "My child. What have they done to you?"

"What have they done to me? What have _you_ done to me!" The Banshee yelled her fury and Shepard could feel the air shift from the pure force of the scream. "Look what you did to me mother! Ardat-Yakshi! Cursed! You did this! You killed me! You killed us all!"

"No," Samara wept brokenly, her infamous composure finally breaking under the verbal assault, "No it wasn't... I didn't mean..."

"Don't listen to her," Shepard yelled as he took shot after shot, hitting only broken buildings and shattered road as the Banshee shifted and turned. "She's not your daughter Samara! Not anymore! Somebody, take that fucking thing down!"

The Falere-thing picked Samara up in gentle claws, tracing lines in the Justicar's flesh as she pulled back and lifted the asari up to face her. Shepard cursed as he swung his rifle away, Samara's body blocking the shot.

"Tell me mother," the Banshee screeched, "Did you enjoy taking Morinth's life? Did you enjoy killing your own daughter?"

Shepard cursed as he rolled away from the circle, moving so that he could get a clearer shot.

"She was an abomination," Samara choked out as the Banshee's claws ripped through her skin and tore into muscle, digging and shredding. "Just as you are now, Falere."

The Banshee roared her fury and raised up a clawed hand and before Shepard could even bring his rifle up, the needle-like fingers pierced through Samara's head and crushed brain and bone, marring the Justicar's perfect beauty and leaving nothing but a wet, pulsing rag in it's place.

"No Samara!" Shepard howled. Samara. Powerful and morally solid, who would do anything for the greater good and ached to forever right the scales of justice. The galaxy was poorer for her loss and there was no greater sin, to die so violently at the hands of her own daughter.

With the monster pre-occupied with the grisly trophy, the ragged group had the opening they needed to pin down the creature and Liara and Jack made a one-two punch, a Shockwave and a Warp, that blasted into Falere, the double explosions breaking through the Banshee's tough barrier while it pushed her away from them, smashing into a building's supports with the force of a cruiser, pulping her and her dead mother together into a messy heap. Samara.

"Dammit, we've lost another one," Miranda said as she moved to pluck the stray hairs away from her face, "How much further to the Conduit?"

"Another click, that way," Jacob responded with his hand as Shepard loped back to the group, shoulders hunched like a beaten dog.

"Good, we should take that path along the side of that building," Miranda replied as she pointed along the sheltered way that had caught her eye. "Commander, if you could-"

Miranda screamed as a wind brought them to their knees, the thrumming beat of air pushing them against the floor as a Harvester soared through the air and plucked at Miranda like fruit off the vine, spiny legs jabbing down mercilessly and spearing Miranda through the stomach and thigh. With another surge of its wings, the Harvester pulled away, carrying its grizzly prize as Shepard saw blue energy harmlessly swarm along Miranda's body. Her screams echoed in his ears as she threw what power she could muster in her pained state, but it was no use, none at all and Shepard watched helplessly as the blue energy fizzled and died, along with Miranda, the screams finally tapering off.

Miranda. Cold. He felt so cold. Miranda, Cerberus poster girl and defector. Sacrificed her career and her life to save him. Had brought him back from the dead, and given him a new life, just to pay for her kindness with her own death. Miranda.

"This fucking shit is fucking insane!" Jack swore vehemently, "What the fuck man?"

"Shepard we've got to move!" Liara shouted over their continual exchange of firepower. They were beginning to use their talents more and more as gunfire tapered off, their thermal clips being quickly swallowed in the exhausting flight towards their goal.

Shepard nodded, not trusting himself to speak as he rounded and led the way to the building that Miranda had pointed out to them, her last legacy. He would make it count, he _would_.

"Look out!" Kaidan shouted and Shepard cursed not paying attention, "Behind us! Ash, the drop ships!"

"How many of the little shits are there?" Ash spat out as she tried to take skill-shots at whatever was closest to them.

"Thousands. Who knows," Kaidan muttered as he threw a wide-area Reave, taking Samara's place in dealing massive amounts of damage to the spread out hordes of Husks and Cannibals, barely buying them time to push onward.

"We've got to keep going," Anderson stated emphatically, "All of this, everything, will have been for nothing if we don't-"

"Harvester!" Garrus yelled as he brought his scope up.

They cursed as a group and ducked as the winged monster soared above them, narrowly missing anyone. So engrossed were they, ducking and burying their faces into the crusty ground, that they had missed the drop ship that soared above it, raining down a salvo of burning death.

"Look out!" Ash screamed as she narrowly dodged a meaty missile, what had once been a Cannibal, as it crushed itself into the ground.

Tali was not so lucky.

"Tali, no!" Shepard and Garrus screamed in unison. The deadly payload moved with unerring accuracy and Shepard watched as the scene unravelled slowly before him, the ball of fire and death smashing into the quarian as she moved, too late, to avoid it crushing the left half of her body. Tali twisted in the air from the impact and the scream seared the air with heat as Shepard discarded his thoughts and raced to her, hearing Garrus keeping pace with him as the tracked the fall and skidded to a halt next to their broken friend.

"Tali," Garrus wept, "Tali, girl. Get up. Come on."

Shepard didn't waste time with words, slapping out his medi-gel dispenser at an alarming rate as his suit counted them down for him. Five. Four. Three. Two. Two more capsules left within him.

"Tali," Shepard said urgently as the rest of the group tried to provide covering fire for the both of them, crouched there in the open. "Tali, can you hear me?"

Tali coughed and bright purple flecked the inside of her helmet as blood sprayed from her lips. The medi-gel was already beginning to work its magic, but it was too slow, too weak, for such monumental damage.

"Garrus?" Tali choked out as her vital systems began to shut down despite the gel's best efforts.

"I'm here, I'm here," Garrus whispered over and over again.

"We need to get you out of here, Tali," Shepard said automatically, casting his gaze around looking for a suitable place to move the young quarian Admiral.

"How?" Tali coughed weakly as another spray blocked her from saying more. "There's nothing left, Shepard. There's... My suit. It's gone. I'm dying."

"No!" Garrus forced out, "No, you're not! We're getting out of here, you and me, and we're going back to Rannoch to build that house of yours. With a sniper nest."

Tali choked a weak laugh that had her gasping for breath. Shepard placed a comforting hand on Garrus's arm but the turian shrugged it off. "That sounds... wonderful," Tali was fading.

"Come on, we've got to get you somewhere safe," Garrus said as he bent to pick her up, stopping only when she screamed as the ruined bits of her flesh pulled off the ground.

"I'm... I'm safe here, Garrus. With you," Tali's eyes crinkled as she tried to smile, though her voice was rimmed with pain.

"Shepard!" Kaidan's voice broke through, "We have to move! We can't hold them off any longer!"

"Go," Tali said weakly as she addressed both of them, "Go. You have to... you have to make it count."

Shepard pulled up, not wanting to see the last moment of his friend but pulled up short when Garrus remained hunched where he was.

"Garrus?" Shepard asked tiredly.

"Not coming with you Shepard," Garrus said in a monotone, not turning to look up at Shepard as he kept his gaze fixed firmly on Shepard.

"Garrus, please, I need-"

"We all need, don't we?" Garrus snapped out and rage made the air boil, "Well, I need to stay right here."

"Garrus, don't-" Tali began.

"Shh. I got you, don't worry. You're safe here. With me." Garrus stood and faced the horde of monsters that were barely being held back from them. He unlimbered his rifle, stood tall, and primed an Overload along his omni-tool.

"See you at the bar, Shepard," Garrus said as he prepared himself to fight for Tali, to die with her, "In fact, you better hope I don't. Not until this is over anyway. I'll save you a few drinks, it's already pretty crowded up there."

"Damn you Garrus, don't you fucking dare do this to-"

"Go!" Garrus yelled, sending out a burst of electricity that pulled two Husks together into an enervated ball, his rifle already swinging out and lacing the air with deadly fire.

What choice did he have? Shepard turned and ran, ran away from his two closest and long-time friends, closing himself off to Tali's distant pleading and Garrus's fury as the sounds merged and churned, burning him and liquefying his mind. He didn't know what was worse, when the sounds continued to tear through the air, or when they stopped with an abruptness that sent him stumbling.

"Come on Shepard," Kaidan said, clearly exhausted, "I'm here. We have to go."

"Have to go," Shepard agreed numbly, pulling himself up along that line of strength that Kaidan was holding up for him.

They soldered on, pushing past the fatigue and hopelessness that was steadily building up as their numbers dwindled. Shepard's arms were numb, barely able to hold his rifle steady as his sharp-shooting became more like crack shots. It was beginning to take a toll on all of them, and what spare ammunition they could pick up was not even enough to compare with the discrepancies that they were suffering through. Garrus and Tali. A pair unlike any other living, dying together.

"How much further?" Shepard asked as they reached the edge of their cover.

Jacob pulled out his omni-tool. "About five hundred meters, just over this building. We're close, Shepard."

"No more," Shepard ground out as the group turned eyes on him. He ignored their scrutiny. "No more deaths, no more dying. We finish this, together. As one." They each nodded their assent and moved off, picking their way more carefully as the warning stayed fresh in their minds.

"Just around here and we-"

Jacob suddenly turned quiet and Shepard turned to see what had caused it, pausing briefly to register the thick, metal claw that was sticking up out of his back. Jacob.

Jack yelled hoarsely, surging forward as her biotic corona grew and grew, encasing her in vast amounts of energy. She lashed out, fists ballooning with power as she smashed aside the appendage and followed it up to the Brute that had been hiding in the building's shadow. She swore and cursed, screaming her fury and defiance as she blew through another Brute, just behind the first, Shockwaves and the last of her rounds flying from her like glowing motes of energy. The rest of them cried hoarsely as the followed up behind her, but she was too fast, too potent in her anger that they couldn't keep up, despite the corridor that she was trailing behind her. Twisted bodies, sickening sounds and broken forms littered around her as her true, ultimate nature manifested in vengeful streaks, power cascading from her fists as she screamed and screamed.

With a sudden, popping fizz, her amp erupted and she staggered to the floor convulsing horribly as the electrical impulses misfired and her biotics went askew, tearing through monsters and the surrounding rubble alike. Shepard gritted his teeth as his shields sparkled from the wash of energy, pushing himself onward through the force of the wild energy as he could only stand and stare, leaning forward as Jack flopped obscenely on the ground, the smoke rising from the back of her neck melding with the streams of ash in the air. With a final, gurgling moan, she stilled, her brain liquefied from her raw outburst and Shepard stumbled forward at the lack of pushing force, falling onto his hands as he caught himself. Jack. Tortured prisoner, scared child. Gone, in a brilliant flash.

"By the Goddess," Liara said with awe.

They had reached the last few hundred meters and the Conduit shone before them like the promise of paradise, the promise of an end. Shepard stared at it as the ground before them sway and rippled in the lurid light.

There were monsters _everywhere_ , as far as the eye could see.

They covered the ground thickly as the swarmed and milled, Harvesters strafing through the air and the dull light around the area making everything seem hellish and twisted, like a scene out of nightmare. Shepard was beyond exhausted, emotionally and physically, but this. This was hopelessness incarnate. There were literally thousands of them, rank upon rank, just waiting, defending.

"How do we," Ashely said roughly, swallowing briefly before continuing, "How do we carve our way through _that_?"

"We have to try," Shepard offered, though loss was rich in his voice, "We have to at least-"

"No, you don't get it do you, Skipper?" Ash shouted as she turned on him, "That is an ass-rape just waiting to happen."

"Lieutenant," Anderson broke in quietly, "You're out of line."

"I... Yes sir," Ash quieted as Kaidan placed a hand on her shoulder, and she gripped it fiercely in response.

"Suggestions?" Anderson asked quietly as he huddled them together.

"Air strike, sir?" Kaidan replied almost immediately, "If we could, maybe we could get them to clear us a way. If we get even a small chance..."

Anderson shook his head grimly. "Negative on that one, Major. The skies belong to them."

"Hold up for reinforcements?" Ashley replied next.

"Not going to happen. We're all there is."

Shepard's mind was churning sluggishly. He could do this, he could say it.

"What if..." he began haltingly, "What if, we group up. Just the five of us. Tight formation with no way to crack it. If we can keep a small circle clear around us as we move forward, their numbers won't mean anything. They can only do so much to keep up the pressure."

"That's suicide," Ashley grated. Liara looked sick but determined.

"And it's all we've got so far," Anderson said in a monotone.

"Barriers," Kaidan offered, "Liara and I, we... we can, maybe, use our barriers to give off a small protective sphere. Keep us all safe while we move. We just need to reach the Conduit."

Shepard smiled gratefully at the offer and reached out, meeting Kaidan's hand halfway and felt the strength return to him as they gripped hands and squeezed, love and comforting passing through.

Anderson pulled out his Assault Rifle and checked his clips. "No time like the present. Let's go."

And off they went, after a brief discussion on who would hold the barrier up. Liara had argued that her natural asari upbringing enabled her a greater output in power and control and no body could argue with that. Four of them surrounded her, like a protective wall, as she extended her might and encased them in a blue shield. With only a few hundred meters to the Conduit, they were so very close to ending this once and for all.

They smashed into the first wave of monsters, who had finally noticed their approach, and the Husks and Cannibals clawed at the seemingly delicate bubble as they struggled to reach in and snatch them out of safety. Liara moaned and pushed herself onward, pouring more and more energy into the barrier as weapon fire join in on the assault and began to strike messily against their transparent cage. They were drawing closer, the Conduit looming up before them like the monstrous beacon that it represented. So close. Five hundred meters. Four hundred. Almost, almost.

The stillness ripped through the air like a veil being torn away and the sudden, overwhelming silence seemed to suck the life out of them, stilling the breath in their lungs and binding their feet to the ground.

A grating round, like tortured metal being twisted into even more demonic shapes, screamed through the air and as one, they looked up, seeing the light before them eclipsed as the hope within them languished and died.

Harbinger landed with envious grace as it halted directly before them and seemed to stare down questioningly at their presence, among the scattered tools that it had harvested. Even the other Reaper creatures backed away from the awesome monolith and Shepard felt the wringing feeling of hate and fear, dread and death wash through him in an unstoppable tide. The air in the bubble tasted rank and sour, fear and despair exuding from the rest of his friends like a cloud that coloured the air and made them pause. They weren't reaching the end, Shepard realized, they were at an end. _Their_ end. Like a magician slipping out a sleight-of-hand, Harbinger paused, lowered itself and began to charge up its red oculus.

"Damn," was all Shepard got out, brutal eloquence in the utterance as time slowed, melded, resolved into a building corona of malicious light that swarmed and swelled, turning within itself and stabbed out, lancing into them.

Liara screamed as she raised herself up, screaming and screaming as she raised her barrier and arms high to fend off the voracious red light. Biotically propelled energy and mass met a dark energy barrier and the world exploded, Liara washed in the disintegrating light as it pierced her meagre defences and ate her down to the bone, sharp light, slicing, unheedingly hungry, eating its way through her. Ash had leapt forward, trying to hold Liara up, tried to keep her brittle form standing, but it was too much for the both of them and that was all Shepard had time to see as the barrier broke around them and the explosion cracked the air and tossed him back.

Shepard heard a crunch as he landed awkwardly on his hip, his armour shattering along his flank as the traitorous ground smashed into him and crushed him against it. Biting back the stifled moans of agony and pulling himself up along his arms as he raised his bleeding, throbbing head to survey the devastation around him. The land was parched, scorched and bleeding with molten blood, cracks and steam, melted stone and pools of metal marking the area like a disease.

There was nothing else, save Harbinger, and he refused to look at the Reaper, refused to give in as he pulled himself along, the tearing in his hip making him gasp as pain flooded into him. His enhancements were working overtime now, trying to patch him back and stem the flow of damage and hurt, but nothing could stop the shattered ache in his chest.

Liara. Ashley. They were both gone.

Gone, trying to protect the rest of them. At least the blast had cleared the immediate area, shunting aside the massive amount of energy at the cost of their lives and taking out more of the Reaper's puppets than they could have imagined, though there were still some at the edges of the explosion. It wouldn't be long before they picked themselves up and came toward them at their master's bidding.

A blue armoured figured rolled slightly in the cooling mess and Shepard half-stumbled, half-dragged himself over to it. Kaidan. Please be alive, please be alright, Shepard thought wildly. He almost collapsed when he reached the coughing struggling form and turned him over gently, expecting the worst.

"Oh thank god," Shepard muttered to himself. Kaidan was alright, scratched and bruised, bleeding profusely from a head wound but so far, he couldn't see anything else amiss. "Kaidan," Shepard said urgently, "Kaidan, we have to get up. Are you... are you alright."

Kaidan blinked several times as he seemed to consider the question slowly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I-"

A hoarse, deep yell sounded from his right just as he ejected a tube of medi-gel. One. That sound, who could it--

Anderson.

"Go, just go!" Kaidan coughed as he righted himself, trying to look for his Assault Rifle but failing. In the end, he reached for his Pistol and placed the last thermal clip within, clicking it back with a satisfying sound. "Find Anderson, Shepard, I'll cover you. Go."

Shepard nodded dumbly as he pushed away the pain and pushed himself up. He injected the last of the medi-gel into his system and felt a flood of cool euphoria lift him to his feet as his Cerberus changes were bolstered by the healing influence, speeding up his recovery and providing him with a momentary burst of energy. He ran toward the sound of Anderson's shouts, hearing Kaidan curse behind him as the sounds of the pistol firing whipped through the air.

"Anderson!" Shepard yelled in frustration, "Anderson!"

"Here Shepard! I'm... here."

Shepard homed in on the sound of the voice, barely making out the patch of singed uniform that blended into the grey rock and black scorches. Shepard felt his feet faltering as he drew in the sight.

Anderson lay covered in dark, rich blood, soaking into the ground and the area around him. Husk bodies littered the area in a grim setting and Anderson gurgled as he let go of his rifle, the clattering sound sharp and unwelcome.

"Anderson," Shepard whispered as he drew in, tried to find a way to asses the injuries and just provide what battlefield comfort that he could. "Where are you wounded? What-"

Surprising strength gripped his arm and Shepard flinched at the sticky moisture that squeezed through the grip and left crimson prints along his tattered armour.

"No," Anderson choked out, "No. Don't you dare. The mission, finish the mission."

"Like hell I am," Shepard ground out without much heat, "We're finishing this together. Come on old man, let's go." Shepard reach down to pick the man up, but his shoulders were protesting, screaming warning at him as he pulled and pulled, muscles tearing. He ignored it.

Anderson moaned through the cloud of pain and Shepard eventually gave up, almost collapsing on top of the man that had always seemed to him like a father, strong and solid, dependable and indestructible.

"You have to end this, Shepard," Anderson pushed as he shoved weakly at Shepard, "You're the only... you're the only one who can."

"I can't-- I can't. Not without you. I have a tube of medi-gel left, maybe..."

"Look Shepard, take a good look. I'm done. That small piece of medi-gel can't fix me up good enough. Those Husk bastards kept biting, biting... Save it."

"Like hell I will," Shepard said finally as he used his last supply of medi-gel and pushed it into Anderson's arm. He waited, paused, longed to see the quickening breathing.

Nothing happened.

Shepard stared balefully at the tube. It was empty, it had gone in. What was wrong?

Anderson's blank gaze stared up at the cloudless, starless sky over London and Shepard didn't have to check to realize that his friend and mentor had died.

"No, don't do this Anderson. Don't do this to me," Shepard pressed the empty tube into Anderson again. And again. And again. His muscles clenched and his chest tightened beyond what he could bear, stomach twisting violently as he pushed the injector in again and again. He wouldn't give up on Anderson, Anderson couldn't die. The man was larger than life, leading the shattered forces of Earth and surviving the worst of the war. Shepard was breaking. Anderson.

He raised the medi-gel tube for another thrust when he heard the sound that he dreaded the most, a sound that he had always associated with calm control, the voice of reason and the voice that had rasped silky softness over his ears as he drifted off to sleep during the worst times of the war. Kaidan.

The hoarse yelling punctuated the air and Shepard turned without another moment's hesitation. His Black Widow was out of ammo and he cast aside in his haste as he ran his hand down to pick up the Pistol at his side. One clip left, just enough, or not enough to do anything.

"Kaidan!" Shepard cried out. The sounds of torture was like sandpaper on his nerves and Kaidan didn't respond. Just kept shouting and screaming, denials and curses.

"Kaidan!" Shepard roared out as loudly as he could, straining his ears to hone in on his lover's location. Dammit, where the hell was-

Another dark yell cried out in the darkness and panic was a live thing inside when he realized that the shout had gone softer. Quieter. He pushed his legs past their limits, feeling the newly joined tendons snap and tear as he struggled to rush on. His senses screamed at him, begged him to stop, but he couldn't, forced himself to run like a staggering drunk.

There. Four husks, hunched over something. Without a moments hesitation, he whipped his sidearm forward and shot at the monsters over and over again. He mentally counted down the number of rounds as they made beautiful lines in the air and killed the creatures, one by one, a headshot, three in the torso, another two along that desiccated stomach that curved gluttonously around a blue armoured leg, two more shots in the same torso for good measure.

He crumbled as he reach that last few inches, barely catching himself on his hands as he shoved aside the bodies without care as he searched for the most important thing beneath. He pulled off another, and another and with the last, he choked back a sob and turned his head to side, emptying his stomach noisily as the image played over and over in his mind's eye.

Kaidan. His friend, his love. The Husks had eaten his face.

The flesh was a ruined landscape of suffering and pain and they had pulled off what skin they could find, digging deeper into the flesh. Their sharp claws had dug into the armour's seams and with the unnatural strength of mechanically-enhanced dead, had pulled off the last layer of protection and had peeled away more in their search for sustenance. The muscles were gone, in some places dull, gleaming bone shone through and contrasted sharply with the pouring red, a pool of life stretching onto his encased legs. That beautiful skin, thick with muscle and strength, was marred and scratched, barely clinging to the man's body. Shepard felt another wave of nausea hit him as he retched himself dry. Kaidan, poor Kaidan. Shepard wasn't breaking any longer, he was broken, a mere shell of himself, and it was all he could do to not break down and weep over Kaidan's corpse.

"Shepard," a breezy sigh seemed to emit from before him and he whipped around as he stared in horror, the sight renewed in his head, as Kaidan took a deep, blood-filled breath and murmured through ruined lips. "Sorry, John. So sorry."

"Shh," Shepard said, ignoring the growing howls that were rising up around him, "I'm here Kaidan, I'm here."

"Too many," Kaidan gasped out, "Not enough... Couldn't... I'm sorry, John."

"No, don't be sorry... It's... There wasn't anything..." Shepard felt a tearing along his chest as he watched the last agonizing moments of his lover's life. No more medi-gel. No more hope.

"You have to... finish this, John," Kaidan gurgled and Shepard didn't wipe away the flecks that hit his cheeks, mixing with the fresh tears that had been pouring down his face the whole time.

"I... can't," Shepard moaned, "I can't Kaidan. Not without you. I won't leave you."

"No," Kaidan replied with a pained sigh, "Not that. Me... I don't... I can't... It hurts, John. It hurts so much. Please. I need you to..."

The thought crashed into the front of Shepard's brain as it worked with agonizing slowness to process what Kaidan had said. When the realization hit him like a Kodiak in full thrust, he felt anger replace despair.

"NO!" Shepard yelled, immediately regretting his volume as Kaidan's ruined body flinched at the sound, "No! Don't ask me to do that! Don't you dare!"

"Please..." came Kaidan's tortured voice, the ruined windpipe making obscene sounds, "John, please. Finish it. Finish me. It's time."

Shepard was sobbing now, full-throated and hysterical. "I can't Kaidan, please don't ask me to do that. Just... If you'll just hang on I can... I can..."

"It hurts," Kaidan wheezed and Shepard finally raised his head to stare at his lover's face. Clear brown eyes, laced with pain, stared at him with a force that rocked him to his core.

This arm, it didn't belong to him, as it raised itself against his numb protestations. This body couldn't be his, as it stared dumbly down at the body before him.

"Thank you... John. I'm so sorry that... that you had to..." Kaidan said softly, not following the raised pistol as he kept his eyes on Shepard's face. "I love you."

"I love you, Kaidan."

The sound was brutal, jerking his hand back in a violent motion, pulling his numb hand back around to crash into his chest, a chest that had gone hollow and empty as the round ended the last brilliant light in his otherwise dark sky.

Shepard screamed. He sobbed. He brought his head down and uncaringly smudged the cooling body against his own, crushing it against him as he tried to will Kaidan back to him, tried to return a part of the vital spark that had been lost when the trigger had pushed against his finger.

His rage, his despair, reached a crescendo as he poured out his anguish through his throat, the guttural sound slicing and ripping through him. Tears blurred his vision as they trickled down and plopped onto Kaidan's ruined form and his hand shakily moved without thought as he ached to wipe away the stains, tried to clear away the dirt and the blood that was unworthy to cling to Kaidan in that way.

Shepard turned toward Harbinger, who had been watching the entire thing with silent satisfaction.

"You've won, monster," Shepard whispered through his ruined throat. The oculus seemed to smile down at him and he ached to tear it apart with his bare hands. Shepard raised the pistol to his head, not caring any longer. He was already dead, just an empty shell that hadn't caught up with the fact. The fresh scars on his heart throbbed against his ribs, his friends and family, gone, swallowed up by the horrors of the war. "It's over."

Garrus had been his right arm, and his death had crippled his fingers. Tali and her ingenious spark, Joker's humour, EDI's curiosity. All of them, names and ghosts tumbling within him. Liara's innocence, Anderson's strength. Each death had crippled him in some way, had taken away a vital part of his being. Kaidan's love. That loss, more than anything, had crushed whatever good he had had passed over to him since the last, desperate three years. They'd had a good run. There weren't any more reasons to live for, but there was one _very_ good reason to die.

"I'll see you in hell," Shepard ground out through gritted teeth, tasting the sweat and tears, blood and smoke, "We'll settle up after."

The round clicked and sped through the air, trailing a red line as it left Shepard's head. He slumped to the ground, falling gracelessly over Kaidan as their bodies lay atop of one another, bleeding their humours and tears into the scorched earth. Harbinger stared at the scene a moment longer and then lifted its bulk into the devastated sky and left behind the ruined corpses of Earth's once finest heroes.

**Author's Note:**

> I truly am very, very sorry. It was terrible. I know. I wrote the damn thing. :S. I swear my finger hovered over the "Post Without Preview" button for a few minutes. I hope I didn't scar anyone...


End file.
